“My baby WAS sleeping on their own at bedtime or naps, and now it’s more challenging!”
“My baby was waking to feed just 1-2x and now needs help getting back to sleep 4-6x a night!”
“I’ve read everywhere that my baby should be falling asleep on their own”
You might notice that your baby can fall asleep in their sleep space, and that is amazing! It’s okay that it isn’t happening ALL the time though, and that it sometimes feels more tricky and that you just end up holding them to sleep. It’s also normal that you are holding them now for every sleep and they haven’t yet learned to drift off on their own with ease. We call it a non-linear time for a reason, it sure is <3 And there isn’t a rush to teach independent sleep. You are NOT missing the window if you don’t teach this before 6 months.
When can my baby self soothe?
Many parents want to know when their baby can self soothe. Science shows us that babies are more able to handle the fuss that comes along with independent sleep coaching, closer to 6 months of age. The research that we have on teaching independent sleep under 6 months tells us that if they learn this skill then, it can wear off quickly. The “Why’s” on this are not clear but we can take a very educated guess and connect it to the INCREDIBLE neurological development happening before 6 months. And from experience I have too many families who come to me for the first time at 3-5 months telling me their baby could fall asleep in the SNOO “on their own” or in a regular bassinet on their own (sleep sack or swaddle) and now suddenly the baby is crying and needs lots of support and parents are now holding to sleep more often than before. There is nothing abnormal about this shift because the baby is changing and the brain is on fire, and the baby just won’t have it! I tell these parents to work on sleep shaping skills for now and to lean into independent sleep closer to 5/6mo. It’s normal, I repeat, it is normal.
Below you will find more on why some younger babies can get to sleep on their own and then suddenly lose the skill before 6 months, and how to offer a modified approach to sleep coaching if you want to try it out while baby is still young.
Learn more about how to support your baby’s sleep in the 1-5mo window. Gain access to the full archive of sleep tips and more, by subscribing today. The archives include years of experience and the exact tips I share with private clients. <3
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